Beast Boy: Fan Fiction Writer!
by The Enduring Man-Child
Summary: All of us are familiar with what it's like to write fan fiction. But what happens when our very own Beast Boy decides to take a stab at one...and exactly what point is he trying to get across?
1. 1

Ordinarily any day which the Titans got to spend in leisure would see Beast Boy busy at the Playstation with either Cyborg or Robin, and the day would normally pass with him remaining in that position. But for whatever reason today was different. He was sitting at the kitchen counter hammering away at a small laptop, and for whatever reason nothing could coax him away from it.  
  
_Let's see . . . oh darn! I misspelled that! . . . I think. Blast, why do I always hit that key by mistake? Grrr, this is going to take forever!_  
  
"Yo, BB! You've been sittin' there all day! How about a little game, dawg?" Cyborg asked unexpectedly at Beast Boy's shoulder, soliciting a yelp and a fall from his stool.  
  
"Not now, Cy! I'm busy!" he responded sulkily as he got back on his seat.  
  
"Too busy for Playstation? Whatcha doin?" Cyborg asked, scratching the metal half of his pate in puzzlement.  
  
"Er . . . nothin'!" Beast Boy said nervously.  
  
"Nothin'? Nothin' don't take all day!" Cyborg pointed out. "C'mon, at least tell me what show it's based on."  
  
"Um . . . you know that Nickelodeon show 'Kablaam?'" he suggested hesitantly.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's pretty funny!" Cyborg approved. "So which segment are you using, 'Action League Now?' That's the best one!"  
  
"I'm not using any of the segments," Beast Boy said softly.  
  
"Not using any of the segments? Then how are you writing a 'Kablaam' fic?" Despite Beast Boy's obvious disapproval Cyborg insisted on looking over his shoulder at the computer screen.  
  
**Henry and June come out on stage. "Welcome to 'Kablaam!'" they both say. Then June turns to Henry and asks him, "So what do we have lined up for today?" But for some reason Henry just stares at her, unable to say a word. She waves her hand in front of his eyes. "Earth to Henry. You in there?" she asks. Henry blushes and turns away, then turns back and stutters "S-S-Sorry, June. Today we start with an episode of . . . uh . . . " "Action League Now?" suggests June. "Yeah, 'Action League Now,'" says Henry. As they go to the edge of the screen to pull open the "page" Henry stares at June's delicate features, her adorable neck, her sparkling eyes, her**  
  
Cyborg looked up with a stunned expression on his face.  
  
"Uh, yeah, you're writing a romance fic about those two kids who host 'Kablaam.' But don't you know, man?" (And here he lowered his voice.) "They're like, brother and sister. _Gross!!!_"  
  
"They are _NOT!_" Beast Boy insisted in his most outraged tone, "they're just friends and co-workers who are . . . drawn similarly."  
  
Cyborg arched an eyebrow. "I don't know, man. I'll take your word for it. But they're not a couple _I_ would write a romance fic about."  
  
"You'd never write a romance fic because you can't do it!" Beast Boy responded with unexpected bitterness.  
  
"What? Why, I could too, and probably a lot better than you! Hey . . . why are you all over my case anyway? I was just curious!"

"Yeah? Well, nobody asked you to be curious," Beast Boy said grumpily as he squatted back in front of the screen to keep Cyborg from reading more of his work as he wrote it.  
"Oh, well excuuuuuuse me, Mr. Ernest Hemingway!" Cyborg sneered, "since you're so determined that you'd rather be friends with a couple of make-believe cartoon characters than your real life friend, I think I'll just leave you to your depraved incestuous fantasies!" And he turned on his heel and walked away.  
  
"**_They're not brother and sister!!!_**" Beast Boy insisted again at the half robot's back. Cyborg merely responded with a wave of the hand over his shoulder and continued out of the room with a "hmmph!"  
  
"What does he know?" Beast Boy moped as he returned to his work. "I'm trying to create a work of art here! That tin can wouldn't understand it anyway! Now let's see, where was I? Oh yeah!" And looking at where he had left off, he resumed.  
  
**luscious ruby lips, her gorgeous Roman nose.**  
  
"Wait a minute. Does that sound too silly? No, she definitely has a gorgeous Roman nose . . . at least compared to a similarly drawn cartoon character."  
  
**How it tore him apart every show to share the stage with her, to join her in humourous banter, and to turn the page for each feature. Yet all the while he was dying inside, because he loved her and she would never know. She was merely a co-worker; how could she ever return his feelings? No, her adorable squiggly animated beauty made her far, far above him. He would have to be content to only be her friend, for not only was he not good enough for her, but if he were to confess his feelings she would probably hate him forever and ever and ever. Better to spend a lifetime of agony in her presence than to confess his feelings and lose her friendship. But this hurt him so much.**  
  
"_GREETINGS FRIEND!!!_"  
  
_To be continued . . . _


	2. 2

Beast Boy managed to climb off the floor after being shocked onto it by the friendly voice that had just shouted into his ear. He stood up to find the expected sight of large green orbs on an eager face crowned with blazing red hair.  
  
"Hey, Starfire," Beast Boy said with a marked lack of enthusiasm.  
  
"I have noticed you here all day typing on your device and have made an effort not to disturb you, but friend Cyborg is evidently very upset with you for some reason. I asked him what you had done and he said you 'care more for squiggly lines that only exist in some network animator's sick imagination than for your real friends.' That is not true, is it Beast Boy? I do not know why you should prefer squiggly lines in some network animator's sick imagination to friend Cyborg or to the rest of us, but then I do not know what squiggly lines in some network animator's sick imagination are or perhaps I would love them as well. Can you tell me why you love them so?" And having completed this oration she blinked her large orbs in sincere puzzlement.  
  
Despite his initial grumpiness at the interruption Beast Boy could not help but smile at the innocent enthusiasm of his alien friend. No one could be mad at Starfire.  
  
"Here Star, I'll show you what I'm doing," he said in a cheerier tone as he pulled up a chair alongside his, "and I'm sorry I made Cyborg mad. I was just really busy and he got on my nerves a little bit. I'll apologize to him next time I see him."  
  
"That is most welcome news!" Starfire cheered, clapping her hands as she sat down to look at Beast Boy's computer screen. "So where are these 'squiggles' Cyborg spoke of?"  
  
"You see Star, I'm writing a story. That's all."  
  
"On my planet stories are written by great artists in longhand on illuminated scrolls to be read aloud at solemn occasions. Is that what you are doing? I did not know you were a chronicler. When are you going to inscribe the scroll?" She blinked again.  
  
"Um . . . well Star, I'm not a chronicler," he confessed, "it's just that . . . wait a minute. You know those cartoons we sometimes watch on TV?"  
  
"Oh yes! Many of them are adorable!" she squealed with enthusiasm.  
  
"Well, people who like those shows sometimes make up stories about the characters. Then they post those stories on the Internet where other fans can read and enjoy them. Do you understand?"  
  
Starfire thought for a moment. "I am not sure," she said at last, "I know that I enjoy the cartoon about those delightful little boys who are always in the snow! Only the words they use were not in the English vocabulary lessons I studied before coming here. Are you perhaps writing about them???"  
  
"Er . . . no," he said, blushing in embarrassment that Starfire might be watching and giggling along with "South Park." So he changed the subject at once. "Have you ever seen that show on Nickelodeon, 'Kablaam?'"  
  
Starfire stared at him for a moment. "I do not think so," she said.  
  
"Well, it's basically an anthology of various short cartoons, most of them really good. But anyway, I'm writing about the boy and girl who host the show and introduce the various segments. Their names are Henry and June, and I'm supposing that poor Henry has a terrible crush on June but doesn't dare mention it to her for fear of losing her friendship, so instead he just keeps his pain locked up inside himself and endures sheer agony every moment that she is in her gut-churning, heartbreaking presence."

"Oh, that is so sad!" Starfire said, tears of sympathy beginning to flow, "I am so sorry for poor 'Henry' and am furious with 'June' for allowing him to live his life in pain when she could so easily return his feelings and find true love for herself as well!"  
  
"Hey, don't get worked up, Star! There's no hint of any romantic feelings on the actual show; I just decided to write a story about how things would be if there were."  
  
"Oh, glorious!" Starfire said, drying her tears at once. "Oh, you are going to make them live happily ever after, are you not? Surely you would not allow such an unhappy situation to continue, for you understand poor 'Henry''s feelings, and I know you will make them both live happily ever after!" And it was a good thing that she had convinced herself of this, because the truth was that Beast Boy didn't intend for Henry's miseries to ever end.  
  
"Would . . . would you like to see what the kids from the show look like?" the green scribe asked at length, hoping to change the subject.  
  
"I would love to seem them, Beast Boy!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Here they are," he said, and he called up some picture files of them he had saved on his computer.  
  
"Oh, they are _adorable_ together!" the Tamaranian gushed. "And you say they are in love?"  
  
"Well, I didn't exactly say that they were _both_ in l--"  
  
"And they appear to be brother and sister as well! Oh, that makes it even more adorable!"  
  
Beast Boy did not intend what he said next to sound angry, but the argument with Cyborg compared with Starfire's apparent ignorance of the issue made his frustration evident.  
  
"Ack! They are _NOT_ brother and sister, Star! They're just drawn similarly! I mean . . . romance between relatives is _sick_ and _disgusting_ and just plain morally _WRONG!_ Don't you know that???"  
  
Starfire stood up in horror during this little lecture and her eyes began to tear. "I am sorry, friend Beast Boy, for my ignorance which has so offended you. I am afraid that I did not know that. In some sectors of the universe marriage between close relatives is not considered improper, especially among the nobility. I assure you that had I known that such a thing were considered offensive on your planet that I would never have suggested such a thing. Please . . . forgive me . . . !" And the quietly sobbing girl ran out of the room, not even bothering to fly.  
  
"Oh, shoot!" Beast Boy told himself, "Why did I have to go and bawl poor Starfire out like that for? She didn't mean any harm, and she can't help it that she doesn't understand some of our taboos. And she only wanted to encourage me! Darn! I wish I could kick myself!" But he didn't try, because he knew in a very short time someone else would be offering to do it for him.  
  
No need even trying to get back to typing on his story. No, it should be any minute now. Three, two, one . . .  
  
"Hey, just what's the big idea yelling at Star like that? You made her _cry_, you big bully!"  
  
_To be continued . . . _


	3. 3

Beast Boy turned around calmly to face the livid Robin.  
  
"Hey, Rob. Been expecting you."  
  
"_How could you do that to her, you creep???_ She could not have _possibly_ done anything to make you mad at her! She was only curious and then you--"  
  
"Hold it, Robin," Beast Boy said in a tired voice, "Let me explain. I was showing Starfire these characters I'm writing a fan fic about. I told her they were in love. She noticed they look similar and started beaming about how sweet it was for siblings to fall in love with each other. I'd already put up with Cyborg razzing me over it and I guess I was a little defensive, so when Star didn't know such a relationship was inappropriate I guess I took it out on her. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I wasn't really mad at her and I promise you I'll apologize to her the first chance I get and I'll beg her forgiveness and make her laugh and show her and let her read about 'South Park' all day. Okay?"  
  
Robin's eyebrow arched. "'South Park?'" he asked.  
  
Beast Boy sighed. "Never mind. Long story. Suffice it to say that I'm just a little worked up from trying to get this story written and taking grief over it. Okay? I didn't mean to hurt Star and I'll make it up to her. I promise."  
  
Robin's wrath was assuaged. "That's a good idea," he said. "Meanwhile I'll try to get her to let me in so I can explain to her that you're not mad and that you're sorry you yelled at her. But you are _still_ going to apologize to her first thing in the morning!"  
  
"Scout's honor," Beast Boy insisted.  
  
Robin took a look at the screen. "Hey, isn't that Henry and June from 'Kablaam?' You're writing a fic about _them_? That's . . . unusual."  
  
"Yeah. Here it is," Beast Boy replied, switching from the image files back to his story. Robin sat down in the seat Starfire had drawn up and read over the text. Earlier in the night Beast Boy would have protested but he was not in the mood now. He was beginning to wonder if he should ever have begun writing it.  
  
"You think that Henry is in _love_ with June? His co-host? Man, where did you ever get that idea?"  
  
Beast Boy sighed in exasperation. "Oh come on now, it's written all over his face!" he insisted.  
  
Robin could not recall seeing it written anywhere either during the show or on Beast Boy's saved images. "You really think he has the hots for her?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, _MAN!_ Just look at him!" Beast Boy answered, switching temporarily back to the images. "And he has to work with her like _every day_, and no matter how close they are she'll _NEVER_ like him the same way! Of course she's completely unaware of his feelings, and while I'm sure she'd be horrified that she was causing him pain, there is _no way_ that she would ever return his feelings. If he told her their friendship would be over, and he wouldn't even have _that!_!" Beast Boy explained with a passion in his voice that took Robin completely by surprise. At least at first. But then Robin arched his _other_ eyebrow.  
  
"And Henry's really messed up about this, huh?"  
  
"He's torn up inside," Beast Boy mumbled as he briefly assumed a sitting fetal position.  
  
"You're absolutely sure that June would reject him?" Robin inquired.

"Of course," Beast Boy sighed. "Look at her! She's so far above him! But he's fallen under her evil spell, and he is doomed to work at her side forever in constant torment, caught between her rejection on the one hand and not being near her on the other." And Beast Boy shook his head in sadness.  
  
"Wow," Robin said. "I will _never_ look at an episode of 'Kablaam' in the same way again. Poor Henry."  
  
"Yeah. Poor Henry. But that's the way it is and there's nothing anyone can do about it," Beast Boy said dejectedly.  
  
"But you know, Cy and Star are right. They really do look like they're--"  
  
"I don't want to hear it again," Beast Boy said.  
  
"Okay. Sorry. Well, I'm going to bed now--after I try to smooth things over with Star. But you _will_ apologize to her, and profusely, or you will answer to me. Got that?"  
  
"Profusely?"  
  
"Never mind. Good night. And good luck with your story. And good luck to Henry with June. Oh well." And with that Robin also departed the room. And he was indeed going to try to cheer Starfire up. But first he was going to try and speak with another person whose input he thought Beast Boy had dire need of.  
  
Beast Boy had no idea how long he had been staring at the screen. He only knew that he hadn't typed a word since Starfire interrupted him. He was now thinking that it had been a mistake even to begin it.  
  
"You're up late."  
  
_To be continued . . . _


	4. 4

The voice had been calm and low, but the effect it had on Beast Boy was to make him do a start in surprise, send his perspiration glands into overtime, and set his heart beating at twice its normal speed.  
  
It was Raven. With evident nervousness he turned to see her pouring herself some herbal tea which she had kept warm in a samovar.  
  
"Yeah. L-L-Late," he stuttered.  
  
"I hear you're writing a fan fic. I'm pleasantly surprised." And here she took it upon herself to sit on the stool next to him and look at the monitor with interest. "Mind if I read over what you've got so far? I always enjoy reading, and perhaps I could give you some pointers. And by the way, it's easier to talk if you close your mouth first."  
  
"Oh! Sorry! Close . . . mouth. Yeah!"  
  
"Well? Do I have permission to look at your opus? I know art is a very personal thing and I won't look unless you give me permission." She was still using that flat, low, unemotional voice as she sipped her tea next to him.  
  
For some reason the thought of Raven reading about Henry's unrequited feelings for June disturbed him. "I . . . I don't know. Maybe you should wait until it's posted at . . . "  
  
She gave him The Stare. "You cannot resist me!"  
  
"_It's true! I cannot resist!! Read it!! Read it!!! Only please let me live!!!_" he pleaded, head down and banging on the counter with his fists.  
  
"Woah. Chill Beast Boy, I was only kidding. You really mean it? Is it okay if I see what you've written?"  
  
"Might as well." Beast Boy sounded like someone who thought the world was about to end.  
  
Raven had to draw a little closer to Beast Boy to read his story on the screen (which you may be sure made him even _more_ uncomfortable) but read it she did. The story was simplistic, the grammar was bad, the formatting non-existant, but the deep pain expressed was obvious. Raven blushed a little as she concluded what he had written.  
  
"So, you think that Henry is in love with his co-worker? Aren't they, like, brother and sister?"  
  
Beast Boy was too despondent to reply, his head in his hands.  
  
"Ooookay. Well . . . if he feels that way toward his friend, why doesn't he tell her? Does he not trust her enough to confide in her?"  
  
Beast Boy was still in The Position. "You know why," he told her from behind his hands.  
  
"But if June is truly his friend he can tell her. I'm sure she never intentionally put him under 'her evil spell,' and if she did she's not a good person and isn't worthy of him."  
  
"Hey," Beast Boy said, suddenly lifting his head to look at Raven in a way that now made her nervous. "I didn't write that anywhere in the story. At least I don't think so. Hmmm . . . "  
  
"Oh well, never mind!" she said, blushing with discomfort at the thought that Beast Boy might guess where she got the phrase. "Whether you put it in those exact words or not, that's the basic idea that comes through."  
  
"Yeah. I guess it is." Then he looked Raven right in the face. "That's what it feels like, you know."

This time it was Raven who blushed and dropped her eyes in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she said.  
  
"You're . . . sorry?"  
  
"For poor Henry," Raven said quickly. Then she adopted a friendlier, more normal, and less "Raven-ish" tone of voice. "You know what I'd do if I were June?" she asked.  
  
"Wh-What???" Beast Boy asked in alarm.  
  
"Well, if I had inadvertantly put a close friend and co-worker under 'my evil spell,' I'd definitely want him to tell me."  
  
"You . . . you would?"  
  
"Of course. I would never want to cause a friend pain like that. I would want to know so I could try and make it right."  
  
"M--Make it . . . right?" Raven kindly made no comment on his sudden stuttering problem. "How?"  
  
Raven thought for a moment. "Well, even if--_if_--I couldn't return his feelings, my feelings of friendship would compel me to do all in my power to see him through his crush until he was over it and could be happy again."  
  
"Oh." Beast Boy's response was so soft it could barely be heard, and he looked at the floor.  
  
"But you know? I don't know for sure that I wouldn't return Henry's feelings. Who knows? Even if I didn't share them at first I might be so touched and flattered by his devotion that I would begin to see him in a whole new light."  
  
Beast Boy suddenly looked back up, joy gleaming in his eyes, which had obviously been tearing. "Then . . . then there's hope??? Um, for Henry, I mean," he added quickly.  
  
"Of course. June isn't an unfeeling monster. She just hasn't understood. But whether she is ever able to return Henry's feelings or not there is one thing I am absolutely certain of."  
  
"Yes . . . ?" Beast Boy asked with anxiety in his quiet voice.  
  
"However their relationship turns out in the end, I am absolutely positive that June would never, ever, ever in a million years lose her friendship for Henry, or be angry with him, or 'hate him,' as you fragile males are so fond of saying."  
  
"And . . . she wouldn't look down on him?" Beast Boy asked timidly.  
  
"Never. He is too good a friend, and anyone who would be so cruel with another's heart is not worthy of one's devotion."  
  
"And she'd still . . . respect him? I mean, even after learning she had him so zapped that he can't sleep at night and . . . " Beast Boy stopped abruptly.  
  
"'June' would respect and admire him even more, regardless of how things work out in the end," Raven assured him, this time giving him a small smile without the least reluctance.  
  
Beast Boy thought he would float right off the stool.  
  
Suddenly he yawned as the stress-generated adrenaline which had been keeping him going all day left him. Now he could barely keep his eyes open.  
"Better turn in for the night and finish your story tomorrow," Raven advised.  
  
Beast Boy's smile and voice exuded such peace of mind that it was touching. "Yeah. I'll save it and get back to it after forty winks."  
  
"Good. Good night, Beast Boy." And Raven got up to get herself some more tea. But she suddenly stopped and turned back to him.  
  
"You know, I was headed out to this little coffeehouse to listen to some poetry. They really just get going in a big way this time of the night. Wanna come with?" She knew that Ingrid Third was one of Beast Boy's favorite cartoon characters and that she sounded just like her if she tried to.  
  
Suddenly every trace of fatigue was gone from Beast Boy's face and body. "Disco!" he said, trying his best to play along.  
  
"I'll just head to my room right quick to get my cloak and we'll be on our way. It's nice and dark and quiet and I promise it will help relax you."  
  
Beast Boy just nodded, too happy for words. Raven gave another barely visible smile and left to retrieve her cloak.  
  
"All right, BB! Go Beast Boy! Go Beast Boy! It's your birthday! It's your birthday!" And it certainly felt like it.  
  
In no time at all Raven was back, wearing her cloak. "Ready to go?" she asked him invitingly.  
  
"Boy, am I!!! I mean, uh, sure, I don't mind or anything," he corrected quickly. And when he joined her she put her arm on his shoulder. And contrary to what he might have feared, he didn't faint or chortle like a fool or shoot into the sky like a rocket.  
  
Suddenly Raven stopped. "Beast Boy, your computer! Better shut it down," she suggested.  
  
"Yeah, you're right!" he said, this time with more confidence than he had shown before. And he took returned to the computer and . . . simply flicked it off.  
  
"Beast Boy! Your story! You forgot to save it!!!" Raven exclaimed in horror.  
  
Beast Boy just smiled as he looked at the blank screen. "No, that's all right," he said. "I don't really need to write that story after all."  
  
_END_


End file.
